In 2017 I became aware of the energy of shame vibrating within me. A new inner-light had switched on and I saw very clearly all the people I had created in my life who shamed me. A pattern in these relationships emerged. I would be treated very kindly then they’d flip and treat me very unkindly. There I was, hanging out like a beaten puppy dog, waiting for more. I do let go of things quickly (for the most part) giving people a break, trying to understand what they are going through - but inwardly it felt awful. I had made too many excuses for them, talking myself out of what my feelings were telling me.
From my perspective they seemed incapable of seeing what they were doing. I tended to repress my shame and they projected out their shame onto me. It seemed the more I did for them or the more I wanted some kind of acceptance, the more I was shamed. I was trying very hard in these relationships. I asked myself one day, “Why am I putting up with this?” It felt terrible!
I decided enough was enough and I made the intention to claim my worthiness in the relationship area of my life. This was a big power leak and I wanted this power back! So I sat back and said, “OK, I’m creating this - these people are my mirrors.”
I started applying all the things I knew to flow my stagnant energy of shame, raise my energy, change my internal story and shift my reality - expanding my consciousness. Once I moved this energetic wounding and my energy sped up, all my relationships got better and I dumped the ones that didn’t move on in vibration with me. I had no desire to be accepted or loved by those that did not treat me well or anyone for that matter. I was able to easily say, “hey, if this is what you are bringing, I’m not interested.”
I got in touch with my own self-love and realized it was this connection I was looking for all along. Because I sped up my energy, I aligned with my True Self that lives in the real feelings of love, joy, happiness, etc. I started to create better relationships from that energy and the ones I kept, shifted into something more joyful. Loneliness disappeared too!
Love, love, love.
The Heart Never Shames!
Shame is flying about the world now in a spew of toxic blame. All sides of the Matrix story has it. I buy into a ZERO amount of it! No one can make me feel bad about myself and my decisions, or who I am. I’m aligned with my True Self with worldly events and I clearly see that the opinions and judgements of others have nothing to do with me. It’s all about their own inner/outer critic and vibratory state and their deep repressed disdain, shame, fears, etc.
We are all suppose to look a certain way, weigh a certain amount, agree with the status quo, regurgitate all the politically correct things, follow the stupid rules and agree with the collective blah, blah. Apparently now we need to all think the same too. If we don’t, we get labelled. I don’t know about you, but I cannot keep track of all the intense labeling these days. A society that is supposedly becoming more accepting of others, sure have lots of self-imposed categories, rules and regulations.
We cannot hide from our inner, repressed frequencies!
Metaphysical writer Stuart Wilde once said, “if you are going in the opposite direction of the general population (the tick-tock mind set), you probably are going the right way.” Touche! Well the general population doesn’t like that much and they’ll try to make you feel shameful for not agreeing with them.
Another persons opinion has nothing to do with you, or them either!
So is my vibe riding fast and high in all areas of my life? For the most part. There are areas that I want to expand and presently am focused on that. But generally, I feel happy most of the time even in all the craziness.
I used the contrast in these last couple of years and shifted some deep fears I didn’t even know I had. At the most intense moment of feeling, I realized I entered into the wound of separation. But that’s another story.
I created a new series called 21 Days of Grace -The Emotional Matrix - Free Yourself. (this series is now replaced with The Dedication) If you ask anyone today what they want, most will tell you it’s freedom. I can say, without a doubt, that true freedom comes from within. When we are stable in the energy of our True Self, it’s hard for the suckers to grind us down.
I can guarantee that if you sign up for this series and practice what I show you, you’ll begin to create the feelings you want to feel, with more ease. Once you start shifting into your Big Eternal-Self Nature, into expanded consciousness, your perceptions shift with it and you start to perceive from your heart - a freer place, removed from the matrix of the shadow emotions where most of humanity exists. Right, wrong, good, bad, etc., start to fade and life shows itself as levels of energy and consciousness.
How can we shame someone for being at a certain level of consciousness and energy? It’s simply where they are at in their evolution.
I was taught by Khris Krepcik, creator of The Hooded Sage, that when we are aligned in this good, feeling resonance, we actually drop down energetically, below the collective, supporting it with our own energy field. Spirituality and enlightenment are all about the quality of our resonance (our energy field) - NOT what we think we know about it all!
While many new-age pundits talk the good talk about enlightenment and an open heart, many fail to deliver the HOW. How do we live from the heart? Oh, just love they say or just be this way. Gack…
Some teach us to process or work on our shadow self or issues. We are told emotions are something to clear or tap away. When we bypass emotions it’s hard to create the lasting shifts we desire, because we have not moved the energy/emotion fully. We get over-focused and working hard on fixing the illusion. We end up in an endless cycle of working on ourselves because we keep focusing on working on ourselves and we are such a powerful creators with our focus, we create more to work on! Whew…
The key is to stop working on ourselves altogether! I do repeat this a lot and there is a reason why. It takes awhile to really start living it. When I finally got it, I leapt off this new-age, hamster wheel and could easily ignore the external voice of religious/parental/societal programming.
The intense energy shifts and contrast in our lives at present can be harnessed and used to propel ourselves to new levels of Love, if we so choose. I feel we are being called upon to enter our wounding and raise the frequency within, going deeper into heart-based living. Sound daunting? If what I’m perceiving is correct, we have no choice in the matter. It’s happening globally.
When I finally stopped fearing any type of feeling, learned to surrender and get my big self working for me, the lasting inner-shifts occurred. The suffering moments shortened in duration because I stopped resisting. It was my resistance to the feeling that created the suffering and the story that my small-self/mind churned.
Feeling pain is something we can’t avoid experiencing in life, but suffering in it is optional!
Much love and freedom, Catherine